We’ll Be Right Back

…a luxuriant leather interior, MP3 capable Surround Sound stereo, and this succulent sedan…I could use a new car. Mine shutters every time I turn left…rear view camera lets you see behind you. It’s a mother’s best friend…I gotta call Mom really soon. I know I owe her a few bucks, but I’m sure she’s not mad about that anymore. I mean, c’mon. She just had elbow surgery. Two fucking weeks later and I still can’t be bothered to get off my…30% off on all mattresses. If your back’s screaming for an end to those restless, creaky nights…Always! I feel like I can’t get through a single day without that searing pain in my lower back, that weird tingle in my spine–that dull ache in my kidneys...three hundred ninety-nine dollars…That’s just a down-payment?..”Acceptable losses! There are no acceptable losses in this unit, goddammit!” When an elite army commander defies direct orders to kill…I wonder what would’ve happened if I’d joined the army like Chad? They gave him  a grant to go to Illinois State, and he got his MBA. Of course, Kelly got fragged by a suicide bomber in Iraq…600 anytime minutes, plus unlimited text and data…I still need to call back all those places I dropped off applications at. Don’t wanna be pushy, but money’s getting pretty…A local man was injured while lighting his barbeque grill…Derek said Shauna was cooking out this weekend. I wonder if I could drop by without that awkward cloud hanging over us. We should be okay with  each other by now, but I don’t know…how high are gas prices expected to rise this summer…Oh Christ, here we go again…plus Bob Duffin’s Storm Stalker forecast tonight at eleven…sure have been a lot of twisters this year. And all that flooding. Seems like the world’s coming to an end. Mike says Global Warming’s just liberal BS, but I don’t know…”You have no idea how much I needed your Squirt, baby.” “I know, you just looked so thirsty.” “That’s why I’m stealing it.” “Damn you, soda bandit!” Don’t let this happen to you…So thirsty. There’s nothing in the fridge except leftover Thai from last week. Squirt? Who the hell even drinks that shit anymore? Stupid soda gave me too many cavities. That and not brushing my teeth enough…Ohio men need hard-working trucks, real beasts of burden–and this truck’s the hardest…So many car commercials. They just play them to  remind me how broke I am…”I really want to help you Caitlin, but you’ve got to help yourself first.” “You said it, Brenda!” “Before we even start repairing your relationship with Bill, you need to tear down your walls. It’s the only way to get your life on course after he slept with your brother.” “Brenda, I ain’t even know where to start”…that’s for sure…

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